Monthly Archives: March 2013

Are you thinking Big?

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I came across this quote a few days ago and it made me think.

Sometimes I think we set goals that are a bit too safe … too achievable.

Of course, it’s wrong to set goals that are unachievable, that we have no control over, that will floor us as soon as we begin to work on them… perceived wisdom on great goal setting says that our goals should be realistic as well as motivational so that we have enough confidence to start.

But maybe we can get too ‘realistic’ at times and limit our aspirations before we’ve given them the freedom they deserve?

And why do we do this? I think the quote above gets to the heart of the matter. In reaching our ‘big’ goals, a lot of change will usually have to happen within us. Changes in our attitudes, confidence, levels of resilience and persistence…. and much more. This means we’ll be on an exciting as well as scary journey, so it’s natural that our fear of the scary part creates resistance and this in turn can make us rationalise (rational lies?) that the goal is impossible and therefore not worth ‘dreaming’ about.

The trick is to dream big and set the seemingly impossible goal anyway – write it down, think about it, visualise it, share it with those you trust and who you know will support you.

Then break it down into smaller goals and steps with specifics, dates and actions and start on the first step without worrying too much about the other ones which come later. When we break things down like this, giving ourselves the right timeframes, things can suddenly seem far more achievable.

Once we start working on the first small part of the big goal, we start working on becoming “the person who can”.

How do you know….

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… you can’t learn to sing/play/dance/draw/write
… “people like you” don’t succeed in business
… you’re not a “creative person”
… you shouldnt be wasting your time doing x/y/z
… you’re “not that kind of person”
… it’s too risky
… that “getting fit” is beyond you
… you’re not very good at relationships
… you can’t make/break this habit
… you’re disorganised
… that success means “this” or “that” or “the other” and
… you aren’t the successful type
… you can’t change or you’re too old (or young!)
… that it’s impossible

you get my drift …

If any of these (or similar) strike a chord, then ask yourself this : “Who told me?”

We all carry around a set of beliefs about ourselves which we hold as “True” (consciously and/or subconsciously). The question is “How do you know they are true?”.

Some of our beliefs are, of course, helpful (e.g. protective) and positive. However, we often have a subtle (or not so subtle!) set that are self-limiting and hold us back, suppressing the fulfilment of our potential.

So every now and then it might be a good idea to review your own list of limiting beliefs and ask yourself the “who told me” and “how do I know” type of questions. Drill down and beware of generalisations. How much actual evidence is there which supports the statement?

For example, for “I’m a disorganised person”:

“In what way?”
“In all areas of my life or something in particular?”
“When was the last time I was (even slightly) organised?”,”What happened?”,”What does this tell me?”
“Have I always been like this? If not then when did it start and what was happening?”
(keep going a bit further by adding more of your own Q’s)

“So knowing what I know now, do I still believe that I’m disorganised?”
“Always? Generally? Sometimes?”
If not always then surely the following is true…..
“I have the ability to be organised and some examples to prove it!”

Trying this out can be very revealing.

It’s a good way to start breaking some of those mental chains so we can get ourselves moving forwards in areas that were previously off limits!

How was your day?

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How often do you get to the end of the day and ask yourself “What have I done today?” or “What have I achieved?” I can get so busy and preoccupied with “what’s next” that I don’t even ask the question and by the time I do, I struggle to remember!

It’s worth doing though. A little bit of self-reflection can work wonders in bringing out the best in ourselves. I’m not talking here about spending long hours in deep thought or dwelling on past “ifs” and “buts”. Instead, it’s more about recognising the good things from the day and for any challenges or difficulties we encountered, how we might do things differently next time.

Of course there are lots of tried and tested ways to help with this. For example: Continue reading →